Dealing with Fear and Anxiety is a common area of my psychology and coaching work throughout the North East of England ( Newcastle, Northumberland, Carlisle ) and the Borders of Scotland.

I’m sure we can all remember a time when we felt anxious, and anxiety stops many people from doing things they really want to.

Many people say to me that their performance breaks down because of anxiety.  An appropriate amount of anxiety is useful and is necessary for ‘optimum arousal’.  However, when anxiety builds beyond this threshold it can significantly inhibit our performance.

Anxiety itself is not an emotion.  It is a state of over arousal of the autonomous nervous system caused by emotion.  When this arousal reaches a certain threshold the ‘fight or flight’ response is triggered.  Again, this is an unconscious process over which we have little conscious control.

In a brain scan, this shows up as over activity with the left side of the brain.  One way to tackle this ‘in the real world’ is to give the brain so much to do that it cannot concentrate on ‘being anxious’.  However, we all know that when we’re anxious it’s hard to concentrate on anything else, so the distraction is best if it is simple, yet changes and increases our brain activity unconsciously.

Because our hands and fingers are so complex, a great deal of brain power is engaged in using them.  So, any activity using both of our hands (to engage both left and right sides of the brain) will change our brain processing and make anxiety incompatible.

In simple terms, this means if we throw a ball from one hand to the other, we can reduce our level of anxiety.  If we also move our eyes in a certain way we can de-activate the part of the brain processing ‘anxiety’.

The following exercise will achieve this, and you can either do it yourself or talk someone else through it.  When learning this yourself it’s often easier to have someone talk you through the steps.  Read through it fully first.

If you want to practice this and don’t feel anxious, just remember a time when you were really anxious and imagine it now….

1. Give the anxiety a score out of 10, where ten if most anxious.
2. Turn the anxiety up – go on, turn it up to at least 9/10.  How can you get it up to 10/10 or 11/10?
3. Use an object that’s easy to catch (something like a juggling ball, bean bag etc).
4. Start throwing the object from one hand to the other.  Keep throwing left to right to left to right at a comfortable speed of about the speed of soldiers marching ‘left, right, left, right’ etc.  Keep going.
5. Notice what happens to your anxiety.  Now for the advanced….
6. Stop.  Turn the anxiety back up again.  Then start throwing from left to right to left to right and now carry on with your eyes shut.  Keep going and notice what happens to the state?  And for the really advanced….
7. Stop.  Turn the anxiety back up again.  Then start throwing from left to right again and now look up as high as you can.  Keep going and notice what happens to your state.

The great thing about this method is that it really works anywhere you are.  You might find it useful to practice with different objects.  Have you ever noticed cricketers throwing a ball from one hand to the other before they bowl, or how some presenters toss a pen marker from hand to hand?

To develop your skills in this area, or if you’d like to permanently tackle the cause of your anxiety contact Kim for further information.

Email kim@performingexcellence.co.uk

Telephone 07980 127832

Weight loss using hypnosis and hypnotherapy is well established in the North East, Carlisle, Newcastle and Northumberland. And it comes with celebrity endorsement too.  Claire Sweeney recently appeared in a documentary ‘My Big Fat Diet’, where she deliberately changed her eating and exercise habits.  She changed them from habits that kept her fit and healthy to habits that saw her put on 2 stone in six weeks.  She went up by three dress sizes and her blood pressure went from in the ‘very healthy’ range to the ‘high blood pressure’ range that, if it had continued, would have required treatment.

Of all the changes she experienced, from not being able to wear her favourite clothes to the comments she received from her friends and colleagues, the biggest change she noticed was psychological.  She was amazed at how her attitude to food had changed.  What she believed about eating had changed.  How she selected what she ate had changed.  It was as if someone had flicked a switch inside her head which completely changed how she thought and behaved about food.

So, it was clear from Claire’s experience that an overweight and unhealthy person had a different psychology to that of a thin and fit person, in the context of food and eating.  And this is one of the reasons that so many diets fail.  The vast majority of people who are trying to lose weight know what foods they should be eating.  They know they should be building more activity into their lives.  They know the same things that thin and healthy people know.  And yet the majority of the diets fail.  A few people just ‘give up’, others lose some weight, gain even more and the cycle of yo-yo dieting continues.

What more and more people are now realising is that they need help to ‘flick their mental switch’.  And they’re going for professional hypnotherapy in Newcastle, Northumberland, Carlisle, the Borders of Scotland, in fact throughout the country.

If you’d like to find out more about this please get in touch.  Performing Excellence offers clinical hypnotherapy in the North East of England and the Borders of Scotland.  If you’d like further information on how I can help you contact me at-

Email kim@performingexcellence.co.uk

Telephone 07980 127832

When practicing hypnotherapy in Newcastle, Northumberland and Carlisle, one of the most frequent requests I receive is to help someone give up smoking.  Not to quit smoking, or stop smoking, but to give up.  And this implies having to make a sacrifice.

It’s a bit like shopping.  I was at the supermarket the other week.  As usual, I was shopping on ‘auto pilot’.  I had my standard list, and I knew where everything was so I went about my business.  But this time, for ‘marketing reasons’, they’d changed the layout of the shop.  The aisles where laid out differently, where I usually found my breakfast cereal now had tinned vegetables.  But even though I’m a person of habit, I soon found my way around again and in a short time had completed my weekly shop.  Now I know this happens from time to time, and I also know I can easily change my shopping habits – you never know, I might even try a new supermarket next time!

Many people in the North East and Cumbria find all sorts of reasons for smoking.  Pleasure, self confidence, enjoyment, relaxation, a boost.  And they fear that in quitting they will be giving up these things.  But when I ask them about it further they find out these reasons aren’t really true.  They realise that when they actually think about it, there’s nothing pleasurable or enjoyable about it really.  How can smoking provide both relaxation and a boost, both opposite things?

For many, it’s just a habit – something we ‘just do’ automatically.  And habits can be very easy to change.  We’re in the habit of driving on the left in Britain.  And when we travel abroad we slip easily into driving on the right.  So things we do automatically can be changed.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing.  When smokers are asked if, knowing what they know now, would they have ever started smoking in the first place they all say “No!”.    Would they want their young children or grandchildren to smoke?  “No!”. So it can’t be that good then.  So the real question isn’t for what reason do you smoke, but rather why did you ever start smoking in the first place?  Think about it, if you now know you’d rather never have started, how do you feel about that reason for starting all that time ago, now?

Many of the smokers I see in hypnotherapy say they feel like they have a tight band around their chest that stops them breathing.  They have a compulsion to smoke that eats away at them, and if they can’t get a cigarette they’ll move heaven and earth to get one.  Talk about real willpower – the lengths some people go to continue to feel so bad!  Have you ever been on your feet all day, your feet ache and you’re tired?  Your feet feel as if they’ve swollen up and your shoes are too tight.  Your toes, heels and soles are uncomfortable and you’ve had enough.  How enjoyable is it to finally get the weight off your feet, maybe to finally sit down, maybe even have a foot massage and a warm bath.  And this can be like the relief when you quit smoking.  The stress and strain of having to smoke finally disappears – how good will you feel then?  Just like your young children or grandchildren do now – and they feel that good all the time  – and they don’t smoke.

So, you’ve got nothing to give up.  All you have to do is decide to quit.  Stop smoking and enjoy the release.  And I understand that it’s not always as simple as that for you, but that’s where hypnotherapy can help.   And hypnotherapy can be like the foot massage and warm bath – the help that really makes the difference for you.

Offering clinical hypnotherapy in the North East of England and the Borders of Scotland, Performing Excellence offers performance coaching and change work in all areas of your life to help you perform at your best.  If you’d like further information on how I can help you contact me at-

Email kim@performingexcellence.co.uk

Telephone 07980 127832

Anyone who offers hypnotherapy in Newcastle, Northumberland or Carlisle is likely to be in demand over the new year.  The North East and Cumbria is frequently highlighted as having some of the worst health statistics in the country.  And this means that more and more people are turning to hypnotherapy to lose weight, stop smoking and control alcohol.

Recently the Daily Telegraph reported that pop star Lily Allen dropped from a size 14 to a size 8, and she credits her weight loss to hypnotherapy, saying “Hypnosis gave me a flat tum – I’ve never been happier!”.  And now that celebrities are experiencing the benefits of hypnotherapy, in Newcastle, Northumberland and Carlisle ordinary people like you and me are also achieving remarkable things.

And I always notice a boost in the number of people seeking hypnotherapy in the North East in January as a result of setting New Year Resolutions.  While many of the most popular New Year Resolutions tackle weight loss, stopping smoking and reducing alcohol consumption, people set themselves targets that address any bad habit or fear.

And I also get to help people achieve their most magical aims.  I recently helped an expectant Mother who wanted to use hypnosis to help her with a natural childbirth, and a man whose fear of water prevented him from developing his canoeing skills to go out with his children.  The Mother experienced a completely natural and easy birth using no gas or drugs, and the man now has a new lease of life and is enjoying his new found energy and activity.  The joy and delight that each of them now has helped me to set my own New Year Resolution – and that’s to continue to develop my skills, using hypnotherapy in Newcastle, Northumberland and Carlisle to help people achieve their resolutions over the next few months and beyond.

Offering clinical hypnotherapy in the North East of England and the Borders of Scotland, Performing Excellence offers performance coaching and change work in all areas of your life to help you perform at your best.  If you’d like further information on how I can help you contact me at-

Email kim@performingexcellence.co.uk

Telephone 07980 127832

Happy New Year.

In Ebenezer Scrooge, a miser of a boss (”Bah! Humbug!”), Dickens created one of fiction’s most enduring characters. In the opening scene, Scrooge scolds, “Every idiot who goes about with ‘Merry Christmas’ on his lips should be boiled with his own pudding.”  But then he takes time to reflect.  And for many of us Christmas gives us the opportunity to look back at what we have achieved and what we have yet to achieve.

This reflection time can be so beneficial.  It’s a time to put things in proportion, to get the balance back into our lives.  We can all take time to examine our own Ghost of Christmas Past.  What progress have we made this year?  What are the things we wanted to do but haven’t yet?  This information will start to shape some of your future outcomes.  And now can be a good time to set these aims – what do you really want to happen in your life, and what will getting it do for you?

We can visit the Ghost of Christmas Present and take stock of our ‘here and now’.  If we were to have our wishes now, what would be different?  What resources do we currently have that will be useful?  What extra resources do we need?  What do we get from carrying on as we are – is achieving our aims worth the cost, time and effort?

And we can visit our Ghost of Christmas Future.  What will it be like when we have achieved our aims?  What could stop us, and what help might we need?  What is the next thing we have to do, the first step in achieving our aims.  And above all, is this in keeping with your sense of self – is it right for you?  Just as Ebenezer discovered his old way of being wasn’t what he wanted for his future, so might you.  So take the time this Christmas to reflect and ask yourself ‘what do I really want?’

Performing Excellence offers performance coaching and change work in all areas of your life.  Covering Northumberland, Newcastle, Carlisle and the Borders of Scotland contact me now for an informal discussion of your needs.

Email kim@performingexcellence.co.uk

Body Language and Non Verbal Communication

I’ve been on many training and development courses, locally in the North East and throughout the country where the coach has been wearing sunglasses (expecially sports coaches).  I know the importance of protecting my eyes from the harmful effects of bright sunlight, and I know how ‘in the dark’ not being able to see your coaches eyes can leave a student and how easily something as simple a wearing sunglasses can limit your ability to communicate effectively.  So when I coach I constantly monitor the non-verbal communication taking place.

One of my favourite comedians demonstrates the importance of body language and non-verbal communication here.

And many of these signals and movements occur at a level below our conscious awareness.  Even the tiniest eye twitch, narrowing, widening or other micro-muscle movement contributes to the meaning of your communication.  So next time you’re coaching, remember where your eyebrows are!

For training on how to use NLP and effective communication in your coaching contact Kim.

Email – kim@performingexcellence.co.uk

Introduction

The 4MAT system allows you to easily meet the learning styles of those you are communicating with.  Many people find it useful because it is an easy structure you can incorporate into all of your presentations.  One reason for doing this is to allow you to keep your audience engaged and make your communication even more effective.  This article will explain what the simple steps are so you can use them straight away whenever you present.  I’ll explain how to use the system with practical examples.  And if you do you’ll be amazed at the effect it has on your presentations and your audience – and you won’t have to worry about meeting the needs of people with different learning styles anymore as the system incorporates these for you.

The 4MAT System and Learning Styles

The 4MAT System comes from a study of learning styles by Bernice McCarthy.  She noticed that people with different learning styles learnt by asking particular questions.

Some people asked Why? Why are we doing this, why should I participate?

Some people wanted facts – they wanted information – and asked the ‘What’ question.  What are we going to do?  What’s happening?  What’s this for?

Others were interested in asking ‘How?’ How does this happen?  How does this work?

The last group wanted to explore future consequences, and asked What If? What would happen if I did this?  What would happen if I did it that way?

There is clearly a relationship between these 4MAT categories and Jung’s psychological types, Kolb’s learning styles and the work of Honey and Mumford.  These links are shown here-

So how can public speakers, trainers and presenters use this?  When speaking, we can build the answers to the 4MAT question categories into our presentations to ensure we meet the needs of all of our audience and therefore all the learning styles.  Here’s one way of doing this when you speak-

1. Start by answering the question ‘Why?’, because until you give reasons answering the question “Why should I bother learning this?” the Why groups won’t engage in the learning.  Until this question is fully answered, Reflectors won’t be ready to participate further.
2. Then give the ‘What?’ information.  Let the What group know there’ll be plenty of action.  This group will also be satisfied by an activity – they’re Activist so let them loose.
3. Thirdly, answer the ‘How?’ question and let the How group experiment with the content of the session.  Pragmatists want to know how they will use the skill in a range of practical situations.
4. Finally, answer the ‘What if?’ question by putting the skill in context.  You can also engage the What ifs by inviting questions – “What did you discover?  What questions do you have?”  The Theorists will open up and ask questions as they build theories for the future.

So, for every major section of learning-

1. The first thing to do is introduce it and then say “This is why you would want to know this”, and then give some reasons.
2. And then, give the knowledge and information – “This is what you do, this is what it looks like, and these are the key points.”
3. And then, invite your students to go away and learn/experiment with how to do it in different contexts.
4. When they come back, tell them what will happen if they use it in real situations, and invite questions and feedback.

In your presenting, by taking your audience through this simple process you are giving them experience of every learning style, and everyone in the group, whatever their learning style is satisfied.

In Summary

I’ll finish with a practical illustration-

The reasons why you need to know this are that you want your audience to be fully engaged throughout your presentation.  In the past, you may have had some people switch off, or at some point half way through ask ‘Why are we doing this?’, and it would be good to avoid such situations again, wouldn’t it?  This is why you need to know this.

What this is all about is that people have different learning styles and assimilate information in different ways.  These learning styles are generally satisfied when certain information or questions are answered.  Each of us has a preference for one of these questions.  This is what you are learning.

Think about how easily you can use this structure in your presentations and engage with all of your audience because you are answering the question they are thinking about (either consciously or unconsciously) before they have to ask it. How you will do this is by following the simple steps above.  This is how you will actually use this in a practical sense, and how you will implement these ideas into your presenting.

And what if you’re thinking, “What if I started structuring my presentations in this way?  What would be the consequences if I did this from now onwards?”  One of the consequences would be that all of your audience would have been presented with the content of your session in a format that most suited them.  As well as allowing them to assimilate the information they wanted in the way they preferred, you have helped them learn easily and given them experience of the other learning styles too.  This is what will happen if you do this.

If you need another example, go back and read the introduction again.

For more information about performance coaching, training in NLP and learning styles please contact Kim.

Email -  kim@performingexcellence.co.uk

Many streams of psychology and performance coaching use the concept of the ‘conscious’ and ‘unconscious’ mind. We are all aware that we have a conscious mind, and we could all benefit by building trust between it and our unconscious mind.  So what is our unconscious mind?  Our unconscious mind runs everything that we don’t do consciously.

There’s a model of learning that illustrates the conscious/unconscious mind link very well.

STAGE 1

Unconscious Incompetence

STAGE 2

Conscious Incompetence

STAGE 3

Conscious Competence

STAGE 4

Unconsious Competence

It suggests that when someone learns a new skill they start by not even knowing that they can’t do it, because they don’t know it exists to be done.  Then they realise that they can’t do it.  As we learn it we get to know that we can do it but only if we concentrate.  Finally, the skill becomes automatic and you can do it without thinking.  At this stage it is your unconscious mind that looks after the skill for you.

How many times have you been doing something unconsciously without having to think about it?  You do not consciously ‘manage’ your body, your unconscious mind does.  You don’t have to consciously breathe, but you can if you want to.  So if we can trust our unconscious mind to breathe for us then we can trust it with other tasks too.

Would you trust your unconscious mind with other skills you’ve learned such as driving your car?  If you’ve ever been driving and arrived at your destination but don’t remember details of the journey then that’s exactly what you do.  If you remember first learning to drive (when you were consciously incompetent) it may have seemed complicated.  But now your unconscious mind drives you and navigates you safely even though you are not consciously aware and you are ‘miles away’ in some kind of trance.  If a dangerous situation had arisen, your unconscious mind would have said ‘Hey, I need some help here!’ and you would take over driving consciously.  In fact, at any particular time most of the cars on the road are being driven by unconscious minds, all quite safely!

So if you trust your unconscious mind to keep your heart beating and you trust it to drive you then you can certainly trust it in your performance too.  And one of the main reasons for trusting it is because it contains all the resources you need.  It ‘knows’ all of the things you don’t consciously know now.  How many times have you resolved a problem not by conscious thought but by sleeping on it, and the next day the answer just pops into your head?  You know that when you’ve forgotten something the answer can be on the tip of your tongue, but the harder you try to consciously remember, the more elusive it is.  It’s only when you let your unconscious mind take over (by not thinking about it) that you are able to remember.  So you not only know more than you might think, you actually know a great deal more about everything to do with your performance because you don’t have conscious access to the majority of what you do actually ‘know’.

So just like solving a problem by ’sleeping on it’, you can overcome many of your performing problems by tapping into your unconscious mind for the answers you need and know now that you don’t yet consciously know.  And that’s good!

I suspect you already know that one of the best ways of doing this is to access your unconscious mind through psychology or hypnosis and NLP.  And imagine how good you will be when you have progressed through the learning model to ‘unconscious competence’ and then go beyond it – to conscious mastery and beyond!

So for now be aware that your conscious mind just represents the tip of the iceberg and as you start to trust your unconscious mind you are making friends with a dormant giant within.  Future articles will examine ways of harnessing the unconscious mind and dealing with distractions – a key skill in keeping ‘in the performance zone’.

“In judo, he who thinks is immediately thrown.  Victory is assured to those who are mentally non-resistant.”

Robert Linssen.

Email: kim@performingexcellence.co.uk

In my experience as a performance coach and sports psychologist, one of the key areas that can affect peoples success is how well they set their goals and targets, and in particular the language they use when setting them.  When we set aims and objectives, either for ourselves or for others, how often did we use the word ‘try’?

There is a famous quote from Yoda, Luke Skywalkers’ mentor in Star Wars.

‘There is no such thing as try – just do or don’t do.’

If you think about it he’s right.  ‘Trying’ is just a concept that exists in language.  It doesn’t exist in the real world because after the event you have either done what you intended or you haven’t.

Take a moment now to think about doing something well that stretches you towards your limit in your performance (if you’re a sports person it could be something from soccer, golf, athletics, tennis, swimming, adventure sports, cycling – if you’re a musician it could be a fast run of notes or a demanding technical piece – it really doesn’t matter)-   something demanding but something you can do……    Notice any feelings and sensations you have.  It feels good doesn’t it?

Clear your mind for a minute.  What did you have for breakfast today?  Toast?  Cereal?  It doesn’t matter, but now think of trying to do the same thing that stretches you – go on, really try hard.  What’s the difference in how this feels?  Most people process ‘trying’ more negatively.  Maybe there’s some extra muscle tension there, or you associate it with effort and gritted teeth.

Above all, the word ‘trying’ introduces the possibility of failure, even if this is at an unconscious level.  And remember, when your unconscious mind has the concept of failure linked to something, you can easily get drawn towards it even if you consciously don’t want to (See the Power of Positive Language).

Since ‘trying’ is only in the mind, and is associated with difficulties, effort and permission to fail, then it would be really useful to eliminate it from our vocabulary.  So from now on, develop a Jedi mindset and ‘just do’.

Email – kim@performingexcellence.co.uk

Sports Psychologists have for a long time understood the importance of positive language.  I was out on the golf course in Newcastle recently and was watching a golfer who often misses their putt at critical moments, and yet the strokes are well within her capability.  Everything’s ok until she reaches the green.  Then, as she prepares for her stroke she say’s to herself, ‘I mustn’t miss!’, over and over again.  So what happens?  She misses.  The reason is that when she says ‘I mustn’t miss’, her mind must first think of her missing before she can think of herself not missing.

Try this for yourself – don’t think of a blue tree!  DON’T!!!

What did you think of?

It’s well known in sports psychology circles that ‘Where the attention goes the energy flows’.  That split second of thinking about missing creates a mental picture or message which her muscles act upon – so she misses off – a self fulfilling prophecy.

I was mountain biking with some friends recently who were concerned that they might hit a particular rock and crash out.  Sure enough, they concentrated on the rock and were drawn towards it like a magnet.  What happened is that their mind created a powerful image which their body acted upon.

Words are very powerful, so use this to your advantage and use positive language instead.  Notice the times you are thinking about what you don’t want instead of what you do want, and work out how you can change the thought so it expresses what you do want.

When you’re next performing, notice the times you and those around you express things negatively by saying what they don’t want to happen.  How can this be changed into a positive statement to say what they do want?  As you continue to practice this it will start to happen automatically, and if you catch yourself setting a negative goal simply ask yourself, ‘want do I want to happen instead?’

Here are some examples of negative phrases and what you might say instead.

Negative Phrase                                                    Positive Phrase

I won’t do this wrong                                            I’ll do this right

Don’t miss it                                                        Hit it

Don’t be tense                                                       Relax

This won’t stop me                                           I will keep going

Don’t worry                                                   Be confident

Don’t look down                                                   Look up

Don’t think in negatives                                        Think in positives

So now you just need to go out and practice, but don’t do it all the time, and don’t think about how much more positive your attitude will become as a result!Contact me to find out how I can help you develop your skills in positive thinking.

Email – kim@performingexcellence.co.uk