Dealing with Fear and Anxiety is a common area of my psychology and coaching work throughout the North East of England ( Newcastle, Northumberland, Carlisle ) and the Borders of Scotland.

I’m sure we can all remember a time when we felt anxious, and anxiety stops many people from doing things they really want to.

Many people say to me that their performance breaks down because of anxiety.  An appropriate amount of anxiety is useful and is necessary for ‘optimum arousal’.  However, when anxiety builds beyond this threshold it can significantly inhibit our performance.

Anxiety itself is not an emotion.  It is a state of over arousal of the autonomous nervous system caused by emotion.  When this arousal reaches a certain threshold the ‘fight or flight’ response is triggered.  Again, this is an unconscious process over which we have little conscious control.

In a brain scan, this shows up as over activity with the left side of the brain.  One way to tackle this ‘in the real world’ is to give the brain so much to do that it cannot concentrate on ‘being anxious’.  However, we all know that when we’re anxious it’s hard to concentrate on anything else, so the distraction is best if it is simple, yet changes and increases our brain activity unconsciously.

Because our hands and fingers are so complex, a great deal of brain power is engaged in using them.  So, any activity using both of our hands (to engage both left and right sides of the brain) will change our brain processing and make anxiety incompatible.

In simple terms, this means if we throw a ball from one hand to the other, we can reduce our level of anxiety.  If we also move our eyes in a certain way we can de-activate the part of the brain processing ‘anxiety’.

The following exercise will achieve this, and you can either do it yourself or talk someone else through it.  When learning this yourself it’s often easier to have someone talk you through the steps.  Read through it fully first.

If you want to practice this and don’t feel anxious, just remember a time when you were really anxious and imagine it now….

1. Give the anxiety a score out of 10, where ten if most anxious.
2. Turn the anxiety up – go on, turn it up to at least 9/10.  How can you get it up to 10/10 or 11/10?
3. Use an object that’s easy to catch (something like a juggling ball, bean bag etc).
4. Start throwing the object from one hand to the other.  Keep throwing left to right to left to right at a comfortable speed of about the speed of soldiers marching ‘left, right, left, right’ etc.  Keep going.
5. Notice what happens to your anxiety.  Now for the advanced….
6. Stop.  Turn the anxiety back up again.  Then start throwing from left to right to left to right and now carry on with your eyes shut.  Keep going and notice what happens to the state?  And for the really advanced….
7. Stop.  Turn the anxiety back up again.  Then start throwing from left to right again and now look up as high as you can.  Keep going and notice what happens to your state.

The great thing about this method is that it really works anywhere you are.  You might find it useful to practice with different objects.  Have you ever noticed cricketers throwing a ball from one hand to the other before they bowl, or how some presenters toss a pen marker from hand to hand?

To develop your skills in this area, or if you’d like to permanently tackle the cause of your anxiety contact Kim for further information.

Email kim@performingexcellence.co.uk

Telephone 07980 127832

In Ebenezer Scrooge, a miser of a boss (”Bah! Humbug!”), Dickens created one of fiction’s most enduring characters. In the opening scene, Scrooge scolds, “Every idiot who goes about with ‘Merry Christmas’ on his lips should be boiled with his own pudding.”  But then he takes time to reflect.  And for many of us Christmas gives us the opportunity to look back at what we have achieved and what we have yet to achieve.

This reflection time can be so beneficial.  It’s a time to put things in proportion, to get the balance back into our lives.  We can all take time to examine our own Ghost of Christmas Past.  What progress have we made this year?  What are the things we wanted to do but haven’t yet?  This information will start to shape some of your future outcomes.  And now can be a good time to set these aims – what do you really want to happen in your life, and what will getting it do for you?

We can visit the Ghost of Christmas Present and take stock of our ‘here and now’.  If we were to have our wishes now, what would be different?  What resources do we currently have that will be useful?  What extra resources do we need?  What do we get from carrying on as we are – is achieving our aims worth the cost, time and effort?

And we can visit our Ghost of Christmas Future.  What will it be like when we have achieved our aims?  What could stop us, and what help might we need?  What is the next thing we have to do, the first step in achieving our aims.  And above all, is this in keeping with your sense of self – is it right for you?  Just as Ebenezer discovered his old way of being wasn’t what he wanted for his future, so might you.  So take the time this Christmas to reflect and ask yourself ‘what do I really want?’

Performing Excellence offers performance coaching and change work in all areas of your life.  Covering Northumberland, Newcastle, Carlisle and the Borders of Scotland contact me now for an informal discussion of your needs.

Email kim@performingexcellence.co.uk

In my experience as a performance coach and sports psychologist, one of the key areas that can affect peoples success is how well they set their goals and targets, and in particular the language they use when setting them.  When we set aims and objectives, either for ourselves or for others, how often did we use the word ‘try’?

There is a famous quote from Yoda, Luke Skywalkers’ mentor in Star Wars.

‘There is no such thing as try – just do or don’t do.’

If you think about it he’s right.  ‘Trying’ is just a concept that exists in language.  It doesn’t exist in the real world because after the event you have either done what you intended or you haven’t.

Take a moment now to think about doing something well that stretches you towards your limit in your performance (if you’re a sports person it could be something from soccer, golf, athletics, tennis, swimming, adventure sports, cycling – if you’re a musician it could be a fast run of notes or a demanding technical piece – it really doesn’t matter)-   something demanding but something you can do……    Notice any feelings and sensations you have.  It feels good doesn’t it?

Clear your mind for a minute.  What did you have for breakfast today?  Toast?  Cereal?  It doesn’t matter, but now think of trying to do the same thing that stretches you – go on, really try hard.  What’s the difference in how this feels?  Most people process ‘trying’ more negatively.  Maybe there’s some extra muscle tension there, or you associate it with effort and gritted teeth.

Above all, the word ‘trying’ introduces the possibility of failure, even if this is at an unconscious level.  And remember, when your unconscious mind has the concept of failure linked to something, you can easily get drawn towards it even if you consciously don’t want to (See the Power of Positive Language).

Since ‘trying’ is only in the mind, and is associated with difficulties, effort and permission to fail, then it would be really useful to eliminate it from our vocabulary.  So from now on, develop a Jedi mindset and ‘just do’.

Email – kim@performingexcellence.co.uk

Sports Psychologists have for a long time understood the importance of positive language.  I was out on the golf course in Newcastle recently and was watching a golfer who often misses their putt at critical moments, and yet the strokes are well within her capability.  Everything’s ok until she reaches the green.  Then, as she prepares for her stroke she say’s to herself, ‘I mustn’t miss!’, over and over again.  So what happens?  She misses.  The reason is that when she says ‘I mustn’t miss’, her mind must first think of her missing before she can think of herself not missing.

Try this for yourself – don’t think of a blue tree!  DON’T!!!

What did you think of?

It’s well known in sports psychology circles that ‘Where the attention goes the energy flows’.  That split second of thinking about missing creates a mental picture or message which her muscles act upon – so she misses off – a self fulfilling prophecy.

I was mountain biking with some friends recently who were concerned that they might hit a particular rock and crash out.  Sure enough, they concentrated on the rock and were drawn towards it like a magnet.  What happened is that their mind created a powerful image which their body acted upon.

Words are very powerful, so use this to your advantage and use positive language instead.  Notice the times you are thinking about what you don’t want instead of what you do want, and work out how you can change the thought so it expresses what you do want.

When you’re next performing, notice the times you and those around you express things negatively by saying what they don’t want to happen.  How can this be changed into a positive statement to say what they do want?  As you continue to practice this it will start to happen automatically, and if you catch yourself setting a negative goal simply ask yourself, ‘want do I want to happen instead?’

Here are some examples of negative phrases and what you might say instead.

Negative Phrase                                                    Positive Phrase

I won’t do this wrong                                            I’ll do this right

Don’t miss it                                                        Hit it

Don’t be tense                                                       Relax

This won’t stop me                                           I will keep going

Don’t worry                                                   Be confident

Don’t look down                                                   Look up

Don’t think in negatives                                        Think in positives

So now you just need to go out and practice, but don’t do it all the time, and don’t think about how much more positive your attitude will become as a result!Contact me to find out how I can help you develop your skills in positive thinking.

Email – kim@performingexcellence.co.uk