In Ebenezer Scrooge, a miser of a boss (”Bah! Humbug!”), Dickens created one of fiction’s most enduring characters. In the opening scene, Scrooge scolds, “Every idiot who goes about with ‘Merry Christmas’ on his lips should be boiled with his own pudding.”  But then he takes time to reflect.  And for many of us Christmas gives us the opportunity to look back at what we have achieved and what we have yet to achieve.

This reflection time can be so beneficial.  It’s a time to put things in proportion, to get the balance back into our lives.  We can all take time to examine our own Ghost of Christmas Past.  What progress have we made this year?  What are the things we wanted to do but haven’t yet?  This information will start to shape some of your future outcomes.  And now can be a good time to set these aims – what do you really want to happen in your life, and what will getting it do for you?

We can visit the Ghost of Christmas Present and take stock of our ‘here and now’.  If we were to have our wishes now, what would be different?  What resources do we currently have that will be useful?  What extra resources do we need?  What do we get from carrying on as we are – is achieving our aims worth the cost, time and effort?

And we can visit our Ghost of Christmas Future.  What will it be like when we have achieved our aims?  What could stop us, and what help might we need?  What is the next thing we have to do, the first step in achieving our aims.  And above all, is this in keeping with your sense of self – is it right for you?  Just as Ebenezer discovered his old way of being wasn’t what he wanted for his future, so might you.  So take the time this Christmas to reflect and ask yourself ‘what do I really want?’

Performing Excellence offers performance coaching and change work in all areas of your life.  Covering Northumberland, Newcastle, Carlisle and the Borders of Scotland contact me now for an informal discussion of your needs.

Email kim@performingexcellence.co.uk

In my experience as a performance coach and sports psychologist, one of the key areas that can affect peoples success is how well they set their goals and targets, and in particular the language they use when setting them.  When we set aims and objectives, either for ourselves or for others, how often did we use the word ‘try’?

There is a famous quote from Yoda, Luke Skywalkers’ mentor in Star Wars.

‘There is no such thing as try – just do or don’t do.’

If you think about it he’s right.  ‘Trying’ is just a concept that exists in language.  It doesn’t exist in the real world because after the event you have either done what you intended or you haven’t.

Take a moment now to think about doing something well that stretches you towards your limit in your performance (if you’re a sports person it could be something from soccer, golf, athletics, tennis, swimming, adventure sports, cycling – if you’re a musician it could be a fast run of notes or a demanding technical piece – it really doesn’t matter)-   something demanding but something you can do……    Notice any feelings and sensations you have.  It feels good doesn’t it?

Clear your mind for a minute.  What did you have for breakfast today?  Toast?  Cereal?  It doesn’t matter, but now think of trying to do the same thing that stretches you – go on, really try hard.  What’s the difference in how this feels?  Most people process ‘trying’ more negatively.  Maybe there’s some extra muscle tension there, or you associate it with effort and gritted teeth.

Above all, the word ‘trying’ introduces the possibility of failure, even if this is at an unconscious level.  And remember, when your unconscious mind has the concept of failure linked to something, you can easily get drawn towards it even if you consciously don’t want to (See the Power of Positive Language).

Since ‘trying’ is only in the mind, and is associated with difficulties, effort and permission to fail, then it would be really useful to eliminate it from our vocabulary.  So from now on, develop a Jedi mindset and ‘just do’.

Email – kim@performingexcellence.co.uk